Valentines Day Special: Till Death and Lightning Do Us Part

Today won’t be focused on either theories nor a dive into the greater MTG universe. I want to do something fun to celebrate a special human. My partner Gem and I have been dating for a little over a year as of this post, and I have just recently gotten them into the illustrious world of Magic: The Gathering. When we first started dating, it was a world before the pandemic. During the pandemic, we found out we were soul mates by being trapped in my college apartment for months, figuring out how to tackle the new world together. Towards the end of our time there, I gave them a copy of Teyo, The Shieldmage to keep as a memento, and something to use when they learned the game. That card stayed in the back of their phone and with them till this very day, and now, they finally get to use it. I initially gave them Teyo BECAUSE I thought he was Ral Zarek’s boyfriend. Yes, I know now it's Tomik, but we blindly lived with that head-canon for about a year, so I decided to make a thruple deck in honor of today.

The initial idea was to make a Teyo x Ral commander deck for them. At first it seemed simple, using spell slinging storm combos to power the deck. However, upon learning that Tomik was the correct lover, it completely changed the build. Looking at Tomik, his abilities are so specific that he would be useless outside of minor control in said build. BUT, I noticed how he targets lands. Working with the colors blue, red, green, and white, I realized exactly what kind of deck this calls for– MY TWO DADS, KYNAIOS AND TIRO OF MELETIS, BABY!!! These two queer icons are a classic group hug staple commander, but, we don’t want to group hug here. Combining the land focus from Tomik, and the aggressive nature of Ral’s cards, I think this deck tech calls for a little land ramp/land destruction. 

OKAY, YEAH I KNOW– I said land destruction. Sign off now if this triggers you. I hate this strategy as well, so I promise this deck will make you work for those gross payoffs in a fun way. So, what's our goal? Using our walkers, land ramp, and commander, we are going to amp up and pump out big spells. Using land destruction and control tricks, we will not only be destroying everybody’s lands, but using land destruction as a method to even mass remove creatures. After a few rounds of testing, it is ideal to win via attrition. 

I am going to structure this in three sections: Tomik and Ral, looking at your lands, and looking at your opponent’s lands. Let’s get right into this!

TOMIK AND RAL:

Let’s talk about our favorite rainbow boys. They live together on their home plain of Ravnica in secret. Ral appears in more of Magic’s story lines and history; however, Tomik is a very important character to the events on Ravnica during War of The Spark. With that being said, let's begin with Tomik’s role in the deck. Tomik, Distinguished Advokist is an interesting card, frankly; in my opinion, not too powerful outside of niche scenarios. 

Nevertheless, in this deck he will be playing a huge role in keeping your opponents down for the count. Making sure your opponents can’t recover or protect their lands is HUGE. Nowadays, it is hard to be at a four person table. However, when you have three opponents, odds are you’re playing against a deck with green or black, or both. With green being notorious for heavy land synergy and black being notorious for reanimation, it is good to have those bases covered. 

Now, let's move on to Ral Zerek, who will be playing a more specific role in the deck. Beginning with the self-titled walker Ral Zarek, this card will act as an all-around player, removing threats if needed, and giving us some additional mana from the untap ability. His ultimate is pretty sexy, but that’s not our goal in using him. Ral, Conduit of Storms, is a unique piece of the gay puzzle we have here. This card will purely serve to copy spells; the scry ability is nice, but being able to copy spells like Genesis Ultimatum, Kodama’s Reach, or Wildfire is downright disgusting. The damage caused by spell casting also helps us in a unique way, but let’s put a pin in that and focus on our side of the board more. 

THE PRIDE PARADE:

As stated previously, this deck cares about lands. On average, with your commander on board, you should be pumping out a minimum of two lands per turn. Even with giving your opponent's card advantage, you will have land advantage, so let’s abuse it. Of course we have our staples such as Lotus Cobra and Azusa, Lost but Seeking, but we also have some powerhouse creatures such as Omnath, Locus of Creation, Felidar Retreat, and Roil Elemental to really capitalize on our land ramp. 

I also added Uyo, Silent Prophet and Ruin Ghost to get more late game land triggers. 

This aspect of the deck is only half of how this bad boy runs. The land accumulation on your side of the board will drive itself, while you use a bit more critical thinking to focus on the other half of the strategy: messing with your opponent’s board. 

DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY:

Aight, here’s the part where we lose more readers. Land destruction is a tool used by assholess across the Magic community, and today, we become one of them. Yes, we are running cards such as Ajani Vengeant, Mine Layer, and Destructive Force. However, I feel like we could get more creative with how we go about disruption. In MTG, there are many cards that can turn creatures/permanents into lands, and vice versa. So, let’s use that to our advantage. While cards like Imprisoned In The Moon turn permanents into lands to be destroyed, we will be turning our opponents’ lands into creatures to be pinged with damage. In order to understand this, look at the synergy between Kamahl, First of Krosa and Cinderclasm. 

This is my favorite aspect of the deck. Did you see it? Don’t worry my child, I’ll explain. So, yes, we can make our own land creatures, BUT, if we make our opponents’ lands 1/1 creatures, allowing you to shoot them down as creatures with one point of damage. Here is where we come back to the damage ability on the Ral Zarek planeswalkers. Using Quirion Druid’s ability, followed by Ral Zarek or Ajani Vengeant’s -2 ability, would kill any land you animate. 

As much as I may dislike the ethics of land destruction, this synergy makes it pretty fun. Afraid that you are giving your opponents’ land’s benefits? Think again; that’s why this deck comes with Blood Sun and Confounding Conundrum, to make sure they don’t outpace you with your own gifts. 

And just like that, we have a deck full of flavorful romance while making your opponents question their life decisions in the process. This is a pretty expensive build, so as much as I don’t recommend building this, feel free to take inspiration from some of the ideas. One day, I hope to build something like this with Gem, if not this one. It was awesome to see how giving Gem queer characters made them more interested in the game. This just goes to show how important representation in media is. When people can see mirrors, you’d have no idea what that can do for them spiritually or mentally. Now, Gem plays with me and we write a blog together. I feel like it's safe to say, when it comes to my relationship, I hit the lottery. Happy V-day my fellow nerds, play a round with someone special; I know I will.

Check out the decklist here!

-Harland

Editor: Gem Díaz Velázquez

IG: @_Harleys_Angelss

Twitter: @TyronicTheTrill

NEXT TIME IN FLAVORTOWN:

Black History pt.2 Electric Boogaloo. Oh yeah, prepare yourselves